When police in Peoria, Illinois want to clean up a neighborhood, they call in the Armadillo. Painted in police colors, loaded with cameras, and made further vandal-resistant, the retired armored truck is parked in front of a drug dealer’s house and left there. Poof, the problem goes away.

I wonder if there’s one that can get rid of Wal-Marts.

Always with America’s best interest in mind, the DHS is working on a new radiation scanner that is just as effective but costs twice as much:

“The Department of Homeland Security has said the new machines it is developing can distinguish between kitty litter and dangerous radioactive material and produce fewer false alarms than the current ones.”

I believe I’ve discovered the source of half the (why God why) PowerPoint slide shows my father forwards for my amusement: Corrupted-files.com. Like the name says, they offer deliberately corrupted Word, Excel, and PowerPoint files that you can use as a delaying tactic while you scramble to get your homework done.

Direct from Yahoo! Answers:

Apparently he hasn’t actually been watching either one of them…

The mass media misread it as “lighter fluid tag” and spread the story like wildfire, but the real story is just as dumb: some guys get drunk and take turns spraying themselves with Tag deodorant (strike 1) and setting it on fire (strike 2), then one kicks it up a notch by spraying lighter fluid on his flaming pal. Clearly my youth was not misspent enough.

Hmm:

Some hard-hitting journalism from Inside Edition, circa 1988:

Normally the recipe involves ice cream…

How do you tell someone it’s snowing outside on April Fool’s Day?