I feel safer already.

Always with America’s best interest in mind, the DHS is working on a new radiation scanner that is just as effective but costs twice as much:

“The Department of Homeland Security has said the new machines it is developing can distinguish between kitty litter and dangerous radioactive material and produce fewer false alarms than the current ones.”

Inspired by being six years old.

A vital survival tool for the remainder of the week: ”Kittens inspired by kittens.”

Save us from the land morons.

Well, this is mind-bogglingly stupid. PETA has launched a campaign to call fish “Sea Kittens” on the premise that nobody would want to hurt a kitten. Voila! No more fishing! You can even make your own Sea Kitten, dress it up in a cute little outfit and give it a name. Here’s mine.

my seakitten

The site also has an online illustrated storybook with stories of sad sea kittens. Well, maybe “sad” isn’t the right word:

sea kitten story

But without the baseball bat.

You may remember the Simon’s Cat animations of a cat tormenting its owner simply by being a cat. Simon’s pretty much nailed it: here’s a time-lapse video of a real cat in bed with its owner.

Questionable taste.

There’s Stuff On My Cat, and then there’s this.

Just scratching the surface.

Hello Kitty Hell reports the existence of a Hello Kitty belt sander.

Run.

It doubled as a cathouse.

The Abston Church of Christ is an impressive model of a fictional church done in LEGO blocks.

There is a cure for dignity.

kittywig.jpg

Later they tried it with toast.

When a cat falls, it instinctively tries to swivel and land with its feet down. Here’s what happens when you “drop” a cat in a low-gravity environment…

Why I keep the door closed.

Update: The old copy of the video was removed from YouTube, this is the official one. There’s a couple more where that came from.